Sunday, July 15, 2007

The Obsesion of Self-Fulfillment

Living your dream is top priority. Self-fulfilment is everything.
Isn't it?

Who do you think is the happiest:
People who achieve their dreams, people who don't have a dream or
people who have a dream and don't achieve it?

The achievers?
Well, it's amazing how many people will not be satisfied. What
about the professor, who worked 15 years only to get the position
of a professor's chair who fell into a deep depression upon
achievement, his marriage broke, he is deeply unhappy. He had
nothing planned for afterwards and as he had climbed up the tower
standing on the top, he felt the nothingness surrounding him and
his world tumbled like house made from playing cards.

What about the business whiz who starting his company at 19 finds
himself lost and without direction, having done so well from the
start, now 24 and restless?

Wanting and getting is not the key to being fulfilled.

What about not wanting and getting it?

We often appreciate most what we worked hard for, yet we can also
appreciate what comes naturally. At the end of the day, and even in
the beginning, appreciation is about being happy about what you
have regardless of the way you got it.

When I ask people what they are most proud about in their life, I
often hear, i.e. the birth of their child (Men and women alike).
Very few say the best thing ever was the pay raise or the job they
wanted. What did they work harder for?

I find it fascinating how-when it comes down to it, most humans put
more meaning into emotional basic events than mental creations
(dreams, goals, plans etc).
Being happy has nothing to do with achieving your dreams.
Happiness is not something outside yourself. You do not need to
spend big money on getting it though it seems that many people
bottle and sell it (and why wouldn't they..)

Some things will bring you pleasure and that can trigger happiness
but the decision weather you will let yourself be happy or not is
always with you. You will find that what may cause you to be happy
today might not have the same effect tomorrow.

Now this may sound as if you just needed to say: I want to be happy
and you are happy.
But who is "I"?
We all have many different parts that make up our personality and
character, all that we call "me".
Our conscious mind, our unconscious, our past, our present, our
ideas, education etc. affect us in the way we think, feel and
perceive ourselves.

Know thyself

I find that knowing yourself and your changeable nature is very valuable. We all change and this is what life is about. Change is the only constant in life. What I like today, I may get bored of tomorrow, what I want tomorrow, may be meaningless today. What this
shows us is simply where we are. Our "liking", "wanting", "needing"
allow us to experience ourselves in relation to the world.

What does this mean in relation to living our dream? Going for our
full potential?
If what we dream and want is of a changing nature, hanging on to it
too much can't be too healthy.
Some people make it more important than themselves and as
fascinating as it may be that they do so, it makes no sense to me
at all.

How can something you want to do, be, have, be bigger than you?
For me, my life is about me. I don't mean this exclusively
egoistically. But I will include it.

To live my potential, all I really need to do is to feel myself
-and desires will come that inspire me to take action (or not). I
have a choice of listening to this and follow. There is nobody
judging you on this. It's totally between you and you.

Sometimes I wonder about the term self "fulfilment" itself: Is
there a hole inside of us we need to fill?
I know it feels like it sometimes. And I know that from that hole,
that feeling of nothingness comes inspiration, ideas, creation,
moving forward. The hole is also space; breeding ground...
The emptiness has the greatest potential for everything.

To feel myself fully to me is self-fulfilment.

So why get obsessed about realizing one idea?
Why beat yourself up if you can't seem to get what you wanted or
may I say...thought you wanted.
How about looking at it from a perspective of feeling yourself and
your ideas, your life. Detach. Relax. Chances are you get it when
you don't chase it too much. (I don't really know yet if it means
you will actually get it, but I'll tell you when I do.)

Our dreams and goals are not dogmas we have to follow. They are
motivating guidelines that give us direction and a promising view
of the future. This in return helps us create more pleasure and
energy for others and ourselves. If a goal doesn't inspire you, it
has lost its purpose.

So what inspires you today? What is your goal, your dream?

I like to think about having achieved all the musical and artistic
success I dream about: the concerts, the book signings, those happy
faces I get to look at whose lives have changed for the better, the
songs in the charts, the fancy dresses, the wonderful people around
me....and look back on my life. I think: I loved it all turned out so
well, there was no way to see why it suddenly worked, but it did.
The only thing I wish I had done is spending more time growing
friendships and nourishing my family. That always gave me pleasure.
I wish I had had more time for the little things in life.
I'm only 1.55m (5'2 or so) after all.

Take care!

PS: recommeded song: Yoga -babe by Diva Eve...don't mess with me cause I do Yoga babe, yeah! available on itunes: search for Diva Eve or of course on the album Who's your Diva?! or buy the album for £7.99 through Paypal
diva eve

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