Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Easing the pressure

Do you know the feeling of putting yourself under so much pressure it hurts?
Why on earth would we do that?

I am very dedicated to living the dream and I have had my fair bit of challenges. As they say- obstacles only arise when you are moving forward.
When you are static, there is no obstacle.

I must have been moving a heck of a lot! The thing about drive is it can also drive you crazy. Now I know that I am the driver and it is my responsibility to take control of my life, including my driving style and skills.
Try and tell me that when I am in my race and you are likely to land under my wheels!
It’s when the fuel runs out and the next station is too far away that reflection mode starts to resurface.

In my case- I am taking action towards my dream. My dream board shows me the things I want in my life and motivates me to go forward, I have attended seminars and courses, my focus is clear and my commitment is strong.
Here we go, watch out world, here I come!

I manage my time: The day job takes most of the day- hence the name. So there is the morning and the evening. And lunch break.
And weekends. Within that time, I am looking for managers, record deals, set up my gig, build my mailing list, take care of my body, my mind, my soul, my friendships, family oh and I have a relationship as well.

I have a room to clean, bills to pay, people to coach, songs to write.
There is music to promote and “get out there” as much as I can, and social sites to chat on so that more people become interested in what I do.
Then of course there needs to be time for training and cooking and shopping- and I’m not even talking clothes. And practise the skills I learn. NLP without using it- how useful is it? Education, reading time, etc. pp

Well as I write this it’s easy to see that I would exhaust myself eventually.
Why run around and do all this? So that I can live my dream!
My dream of inspiring millions of people through my music and who I am, connecting them their core and then giving it that little nudge to a more blissful place. It’s about the joy, the pure bliss of being alive and to shine the light that makes us beam from inside out.

That’s my dream! I see myself on big stages, I see myself on TV, I see myself out there getting people to get on with it and step up. I see myself stepping up over and over again. I see people’s lives changing around me, I see courage growing and I see children with happy faces. I see myself educating the educators and the results on the kids. I see families communicating better with each other and nurturing the love. Relationships are a skill- I am so passionate about people learning about it (including myself).

I see myself meeting incredible people- people who have made powerful decisions for themselves and took the leap of faith and went for it and therefore improved their life, their energy and with that other’s.

I have a dream! I see fear melted into courage by the power of our conviction. I see that in a healthy balance- an evolved maturity, wisdom that is there for us to tap into.
I see myself travelling with amazing people making changes by bringing the tools and the message and the love round the planet. I want to be involved in helping people build their lives and bring out that irresistible sparkle in their eyes. Your eyes.

So what I need to do is take action. And I do. And I do more. And more- what else can I do? Ok how about this and that, every day of action is a day closer to the dream surely, come on, what’s next? There is so much to do!
Oh do I have to go to work today? I am done with working, it seems like such a waste of my time, I have so many important things to do like changing the world and stuff. My job is in the way. Without the job, where does the money come from? Remember there was a time I tried to do that? I ended up very very tired and stressed out. Remember those days in hospital?

It’s always easier to see from the outside what’s going on- you can probably see how that frantic way of going about it all would get you where I got.

We are after all human beings. There is wisdom in the word.
We were not called human doings. We are spiritual beings having a human experience- yet that experience can get so intense; I like to believe it’s more real than anything else.

So I get ill. Sinus infection this time. Pressure build up in my cavities and it hurts.
Everyone gets their lessons in different ways. I wish for mine to be more subtle- and actually they are, I just tend to ignore it when they are. I wish for myself to become more attentive to what’s going on and what it’s about for me.

Living the dream has a lot to do with living. Living is a day by day process and very much about the now. I would say I enjoy what I do; I admit I do get caught up in it, which makes me think some parts are better than others.
Like work no good, music very good. I remember a time where that was flipped around.Everything depends on how we think about things. If we allow that time to actually think about things. I get too busy doing my thing sometimes and I will defend that that’s the right way because when you think you are obviously not doing it so what’s the point?!

The point is balance. The point is connection. The point is ease.
One step at a time. It’s easier to grow wings that way.
As an inspirational musical boy band proclaimed (New Kids on the Block –good work): step by step oh baby.

They made it quite far. No idea what became of them…

Here is the tip of the day:
Do not run after your dream. Dreams don’t run away unless you run. And they run at least as fast as you.

This is my journey and I can choose to have an easy one. And that means I take it easy on myself.
It’s part of the deal.

The new question is hence: how can I be at ease today knowing what I know now and remembering what I need to, what action would I love to take today?

I better write that one down…next to the dream board.

Have a great day, whatever you do- just for the pure sake of it.
Let’s be happy for no good reason.

Diva Eve xx

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Sunday, July 15, 2007

The Obsesion of Self-Fulfillment

Living your dream is top priority. Self-fulfilment is everything.
Isn't it?

Who do you think is the happiest:
People who achieve their dreams, people who don't have a dream or
people who have a dream and don't achieve it?

The achievers?
Well, it's amazing how many people will not be satisfied. What
about the professor, who worked 15 years only to get the position
of a professor's chair who fell into a deep depression upon
achievement, his marriage broke, he is deeply unhappy. He had
nothing planned for afterwards and as he had climbed up the tower
standing on the top, he felt the nothingness surrounding him and
his world tumbled like house made from playing cards.

What about the business whiz who starting his company at 19 finds
himself lost and without direction, having done so well from the
start, now 24 and restless?

Wanting and getting is not the key to being fulfilled.

What about not wanting and getting it?

We often appreciate most what we worked hard for, yet we can also
appreciate what comes naturally. At the end of the day, and even in
the beginning, appreciation is about being happy about what you
have regardless of the way you got it.

When I ask people what they are most proud about in their life, I
often hear, i.e. the birth of their child (Men and women alike).
Very few say the best thing ever was the pay raise or the job they
wanted. What did they work harder for?

I find it fascinating how-when it comes down to it, most humans put
more meaning into emotional basic events than mental creations
(dreams, goals, plans etc).
Being happy has nothing to do with achieving your dreams.
Happiness is not something outside yourself. You do not need to
spend big money on getting it though it seems that many people
bottle and sell it (and why wouldn't they..)

Some things will bring you pleasure and that can trigger happiness
but the decision weather you will let yourself be happy or not is
always with you. You will find that what may cause you to be happy
today might not have the same effect tomorrow.

Now this may sound as if you just needed to say: I want to be happy
and you are happy.
But who is "I"?
We all have many different parts that make up our personality and
character, all that we call "me".
Our conscious mind, our unconscious, our past, our present, our
ideas, education etc. affect us in the way we think, feel and
perceive ourselves.

Know thyself

I find that knowing yourself and your changeable nature is very valuable. We all change and this is what life is about. Change is the only constant in life. What I like today, I may get bored of tomorrow, what I want tomorrow, may be meaningless today. What this
shows us is simply where we are. Our "liking", "wanting", "needing"
allow us to experience ourselves in relation to the world.

What does this mean in relation to living our dream? Going for our
full potential?
If what we dream and want is of a changing nature, hanging on to it
too much can't be too healthy.
Some people make it more important than themselves and as
fascinating as it may be that they do so, it makes no sense to me
at all.

How can something you want to do, be, have, be bigger than you?
For me, my life is about me. I don't mean this exclusively
egoistically. But I will include it.

To live my potential, all I really need to do is to feel myself
-and desires will come that inspire me to take action (or not). I
have a choice of listening to this and follow. There is nobody
judging you on this. It's totally between you and you.

Sometimes I wonder about the term self "fulfilment" itself: Is
there a hole inside of us we need to fill?
I know it feels like it sometimes. And I know that from that hole,
that feeling of nothingness comes inspiration, ideas, creation,
moving forward. The hole is also space; breeding ground...
The emptiness has the greatest potential for everything.

To feel myself fully to me is self-fulfilment.

So why get obsessed about realizing one idea?
Why beat yourself up if you can't seem to get what you wanted or
may I say...thought you wanted.
How about looking at it from a perspective of feeling yourself and
your ideas, your life. Detach. Relax. Chances are you get it when
you don't chase it too much. (I don't really know yet if it means
you will actually get it, but I'll tell you when I do.)

Our dreams and goals are not dogmas we have to follow. They are
motivating guidelines that give us direction and a promising view
of the future. This in return helps us create more pleasure and
energy for others and ourselves. If a goal doesn't inspire you, it
has lost its purpose.

So what inspires you today? What is your goal, your dream?

I like to think about having achieved all the musical and artistic
success I dream about: the concerts, the book signings, those happy
faces I get to look at whose lives have changed for the better, the
songs in the charts, the fancy dresses, the wonderful people around
me....and look back on my life. I think: I loved it all turned out so
well, there was no way to see why it suddenly worked, but it did.
The only thing I wish I had done is spending more time growing
friendships and nourishing my family. That always gave me pleasure.
I wish I had had more time for the little things in life.
I'm only 1.55m (5'2 or so) after all.

Take care!

PS: recommeded song: Yoga -babe by Diva Eve...don't mess with me cause I do Yoga babe, yeah! available on itunes: search for Diva Eve or of course on the album Who's your Diva?! or buy the album for £7.99 through Paypal
diva eve

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Saturday, July 14, 2007

Mastering the Fear of Change

You want to change your job, you know you need to move forward, enough of the old boss, enough of the same people everyday, you have the potential to go far and you will...looking though all the opportunities on the market, you can feel your horizons rise until...the day you walk into the interview. Suddenly you realize your whole life would change and what glistened as a golden opportunity on the horizon now takes shape... So the job pays more and it comes with a car and what exactly is expected of you? How many miles do you have to drive each week? Will they turn your life to hell?

We all know the feeling- when change is about to happen, it gets scary. From the first visit abroad to the job change, from leaving school to getting married, change is a vital part of life, we all know it so why would we be afraid?

And then comes the heroism of the coaching world, catapulting you into a state of mind in which decisiveness is your true identity and nothing will stop you. YES, YOU CAN DO IT! are back out there, on your own asking yourself: but what if it doesn't work out as I want it to? How will it be? Is this all theory?

There are many ways in which we can conquer our fear.
However, to believe that the fear is our enemy and must be overcome, to me, is a bit of a stale old hat.

I am done with making fear the enemy, just as I am done with using self blame to explain why things haven't happened the way I wanted them to before.

So are we back to feel the fear and do it anyway?
I would like to say that the way to deal with your fear should depend on the kind of fear, the thoughts behind it and most of all you.

We are all different in many ways and what I call fear may be a composition of a certain set of emotions and thoughts, that is totally different from what your fear might entail.

Usually our fear is made up from a chain of thoughts projecting an unknown future result that may be imagined as unpleasant. Have you ever met anyone who has become a great master of painting the picture with all the possible problem routes in their mind? I certainly have been trained extensively in problem painting. In the same time I could paint a picture of roses and beauty, but that would be naïve.
Being grown up and mature, we know better than that.

Or should we not paint a picture at all as to not be disappointed and not loose ourselves in non-existing ideals? That is a more Buddhist approach-acknowledging all that is as an illusion...

My observation is that without a picture, I can be pleasantly surprised of the outcome or still not like it but there is a certain distance, as I am not constantly measuring it against what it was in my mind. That has benefits and weaknesses. I like to feel enrolled in my experience and love the buzz of things being even better than expected. And also in my mind, pictures come in quicker than the decision not to have them.

But is it really the pictures in our mind that determine how we feel? Is the expectation the real problem?
Or is there something else?
Have you ever expected something, and when it turned out differently and you were angry?
Ok, have you ever expected something, things turned out differently and you didn't mind?

The more useful question to ask is: what do we make of the experience?
If we measure against how things 'should' be, we are more likely to get angry. When we can allow things to be the way they are, we are more likely to keep flowing.

So what about fear... if fear is a chain of pictures projecting unpleasant yet unknown results, we have a few options: we can leave the pictures in our mind and be curious about the real outcomes and flow with it.
Or we might want to change the pictures in our mind and make them pretty or pleasant at least and then see what the experience brings and go with that. In good old Beatle fashion- let it be.

Isn't it interesting, that it doesn't really matter what we do- but how we let go of measuring what is against what we like to think should be?

To master your fear of change, you can either master the change. Or change the fear.
It's up to you, the master.

To listen to a song reffering to this, please check out CLIFFS OF INSANITY by Diva Eve. Please see below!
the tune is available from itunes...

Diva Eve in da House!

Hello Hello
lots going on as I got a new swing of motivatioin running through my veins. So I put myself everywhere from Bebo to myspace, from Facebook to
and that means including the widgets for my music. How fun is that? so today I ran a powerplay campaign on my song Yoga-babe and it turns out that 356 users out of 500 listened to the whole track. The people it got played to were fans of
Alanis Morissette
The Cardigans
Fiona Apple
The Corrs
Céline Dion
Annie Lennox
The Divine Comedy

it would be great to hear who you think I sound similar to.
I am researching similar artists, as it makes it so much easier to communicate my music to people. Ideally I'd just sing, but funny enough it's hard over the internet and to target your audience you gotta find out who they are in the first place!

Please feel free to comment with your suggestions. Meanwhile here is another fancy little widget.

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Monday, July 09, 2007

So you still haven't heard my music?
Now is the right time. You will enjoy and relax.
I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts- what came up for you when you listen to this?
How can you relate?
x evelyne